I have opened this window to write a blog post about six times over the past week, but never can come up with what I want to communicate (or else just want to rant about the uncomfortableness of the final stages of pregnancy - and who wants to hear that?!) so I just close it and go back to whatever I was doing previously. I've thought about blogging about the movie Gran Torino, but couldn't figure out a way to do it without totally spoiling the very superb ending. Hence the crickets chirping on this beloved blog o' mine.

I'll give it a go here in my sleep-deprived, hips hurt more in bed than on the couch state...and then probably go back to sleep for a couple hours. This is a new phenomenon of my "maternity leave pre-baby" life - I can sleep whenever I feel like it, go places whenever I want and do things with Kyle as much as I can when he is off or home. It sort of feels like I'm in the twilight zone though, since really I'm just kind of waiting around for Jack's birth and I know that life will be consumed by caring for him pretty much any day. Being in limbo is overrated - I feel a little like this is the calm before the storm of motherhood. The suspense is killing me!

I am enjoying the new mental space that not working at the chiro clinic affords. I'm very proud of my co-workers...they haven't called me ONCE to ask me where to find a file or what on earth they should do with _____ situation. It's kind of nice to know I'm not irreplaceable and that they are doing well without me. Now what I am supposed to do with this new mental space is a little beyond me - I've read nearly every natural birthing book known to English speaking people, cleaned and organized bits and corners of the house that weren't especially in need of it in the first place, worked on baby announcements (but still need to make the mailing list and print labels), planned and cooked freezer meals and have the Jacksonater's room all set to go (except for the bookshelf and changing table that have been commisioned but not finished by Papa Keith and Uncle Josh).

That was the last week and a half. What do I do with myself this week? (We are still almost 2 weeks till my "official" due date...which also means nothing at all.) My calendar for July is eerily blank...except for the tiny words due date penned on July 14 and a couple reminders of Kyle's work schedule. Funny how a baby eclipses all else in one's life for at least a time.

I am grateful to have had such an uneventful, healthy and otherwise pain-free and pleasant pregnancy. I'm now at the I'm just so huge I'm uncomfortable as can be stage, but up until even 2-3 weeks ago, I felt pretty awesome. Compared to many of my friends that have lost tooth enamel due to daily retching, or the ones that can't get to a chiropractor to care for their hips and low back, I have had an easy peasy lemon squeezy 9 months. The stretch marks, added weight and epic heartburn have not been a highlight, but thankfully almost all of those things will be solved by delivery.

So now I wait...rather impatiently, I must admit, for my son to come into the world and our "new normal" to begin. God has been reminding me of His great and precious promises to not leave me or give me more than His grace and goodness can get me through, along with words of courage and pressing on and being able to do anything through His strength. I certainly doubt my own ability to be a good mom, but I have full confidence that He who called me is faithful and will also do it. Gulp.